Southern Mothers

It's very interesting to be a solo traveller in a place like Disney World. You can be such a smug, opinionated observer when you have no one tugging at your shorts. My advice for parents-to-be: forget about this place until the youngest child is at least five. I have seen very few happy toddlers here. It's simply too hot, too crowded, and there is far too much waiting around between each magical moment to appease many of the under-four set.

Let me tell you one thing I know for sure. Southern mamas are a force to be reckoned with. If you, or someone you love is a southern mama, please know you have my utmost respect and I stand in awe of you. But dang, you are fun to watch in full battle mode. You can bark orders at your husband, flash your uber-white toothy smile at the waiter as he brings you a sippy cup on demand, and give your two year old the evil eye without missing a beat.

You. Love. Your. Monograms. On this trip alone, I have seen children, backpacks, spit-up rags and even a few strollers monogrammed to the nines. You also love names, I'll give you that. Many of you use cities for names. This week alone, I have heard the following names shouted in a sugar sweet, but most threatening voice: Dallas, Savannah, several Austins, Jackson, and even Orlando. I also love that people both revere you, laugh at you quick wit, and fear you, all at the same time. It's an amazing feat.

I Miss Clouds

It's been a long, hot, dry summer in St. Louis, with day after day of high, hazy blue skies. In Florida, the daily afternoon showers announce themselves with clouds that roll in prior to bursting and then linger to create beauty from dusk to sunset.

I really enjoy Epcot's World Showcase. After an early morning flight, quick and early check-in at the Doubletree, (topped off with a warm chocolate chip cookie--thank you, thank you), I was off to explore. By 5PM I was dragging and staggered right into the World Showcase Paris attraction. There are a few places to eat in this area, but my automatic crème brûlée sensor went off went as I walked by Chefs De France. I was lucky to get a table for one, as it was dinner hour for the older crowd (just like at Miss Sherri's Cafeteria back home). My waiter seemed thrilled that I used my very, very limited French (his native language) to say please and thank you and tell him that my meal was yummy. Little things make my day.

Mommy Goes to Disney World

Oh my stinking heck, I love this place. It's hotter than hooey, it rained in the middle of the afternoon, and the Magic Kingdom was packed with every variety of human ever created by God. However, I repeat, I love this place. I went to the left after walking down Main Street (an old Jim Reed trick), and started in Adventureland. I passed by the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, the Magic Carpets of Aladdin (but I saw him!), and went right to that perennial favorite, Pirates of the Caribbean. The line went pretty fast, only 15 minutes or so. It's such a classic Disney moment. However, I swear, back in the day, Captain Jack Sparrow did not used to look like Johnny Depp. He does now.

This is why I love Disney: Since International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19, I wanted to get the whole KHS English Department eye patches to mark the moment. In the Pirates Gift Shop, they had a combo eye patch and earring for $2. As I started to gather 24 packages of the combos, I asked a "Cast Member" if I could just buy the patch. When she asked why, I explained that I was a teacher, and wanted 24 eye patches for my teacher friends. She said, "Let me talk to my manager." She came back with a little Disney Logo bag of 24 eye patches for me-- FOR FREE! Now, where else on earth could that happen besides Disney World? I told Miss Helen from Wilkes- Barre, PA (I love how well the Cast Members are labeled) that she just made my whole trip one thousand times more special.

Next, I headed over to Frontierland and rode Splash Mountain after a 30 minute wait. I had two very special red haired, freckled faced young Guests in front of me who caused me to enjoy the 70 foot drop even more! Next, it was on to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. This is where I lost lots of steam. The sign said 30 minutes--my personal max---so I went for it. Fifty eight minutes later, I boarded the ride. I always, and I mean always, get behind grumpy New Yorkers during these ordeals. At the end, we bond and exchange email addresses, but getting there is not half the fun! Then it was on to Liberty Square, and the newly refurbished Haunted Mansion, which had a 40 minute sign. Jim wanted a report, as it just reopened this week, so I stayed. It was fun and fast, only 20 minutes, but 12 month old Aiden from PA kept his Mom yelling every, single, second of those 20 minutes. It was fun, and everything smelled new, but it seemed very much like the old ride to me.

It's a Small World had a 45 minute sign. No thanks. After almost running down a four year old to get to the Mad Tea Party teacup ride, I decided it was time to move on. The Reeds are intrepid, early morning park people. I have never seen the Magic Kingdom so crowded, and combined with the heat and humidity, the magic was dwindling. It was time to head off to my favorite park, Epcot.